no title for this

I'm feeling really bored at the moment so I thought that I'd make a blog of complete nothingness. I haven't really got anything to say right now, but hopefully if I just keep going on about random crap then I will be able to kill some time and come up with stuff to talk about. I don't expect that anything will link together, or be related at all for that matter, but it's not as if anyone reads this anyway. I rarely ever get any comments, so I guess that I'm just writing this because I can and I'm bored.

I'm feeling a little bit tired at the moment, although I'm hoping that my energy drink will keep me going for a little while longer. I need another boost of energy. I rely on sugar to do this for me. I only got abour 4 hours sleep last night, and not much the night before so in theory I should be feeling exhausted. I must admit that my eyes are stinging a little, but that's nothing unusual. My eyes are always stinging for some reason. I find that it's worse wherever I go out anywhere. They're fine to start with, and after about an hour or so they start burning in my eye sockets.

That reminds me, I got a letter in the post a couple of days ago from the doctors. It says that I need to book an appointment to get my booster jabs from diptheria, polio and tetnus. I'm absolutely dreading it to be honest. Most people tell me that I'm being silly about it. Perhaps I am, but I seem to have this developing fear of hospitals. They make me feel quite frightened to be honest. I could never let the doctors put needles and tubes into my veins. I'd probably have a breakdown if they ever had to do that to me. It would really upset me and I think I'd quite possibly be a little traumatized over it. They really do make me feel terrible in my head. The sense of panic that I get makes me act funny. It's not a nice feeling at all. A feeling that I'd like to stay away from.

I'm going to have to upstairs into my bedroom in a minute because no doubt my parents will want to go to bed. Dad's sleeping downstairs at the moment because his room is damp. My room is damp too, and it often causes a lot of problems for me. The mould spores get into my lungs and give me horrible chest infections. It's fine in the summer, but in winter it gets really bad. I read somewhere that mould was linked to depression. Sometimes I wonder if I suffer from depression. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but a lot of the time I don't feel very happy. Being all crazy and weird is just a way for me to mask my true feelings. I don't want to let people see me when I'm feeling depressed. I guess I do a good job because a lot of people don't even realise that I get into that state.

I'm starting to get a bit of a headache, but I'm determined to carry on blogging. If not I will end up going to bed and just laying there thinking. Being asleep is my favourite place to be, but the time before that is horrible. All I ever seem to do is think about things. I just want to turn my brain off for a little while and relax. That's exactly the reason why I'vee made sure that I'm not doing anything tomorrow. I'm just going to have a lazy day at home before school. I haven't done any of my homework, but that's not a problem really. It's only a couple of essays for Mr. Malpass. He never bothers to mark them anyway.

I'm going to hate the first Tuesday back. I have French first thing, which I enjoy, but George is getting moved down a class so I will be lonely and sad. I'll have no one to talk to at all. I've missed George quite a lot this holiday actually. More than I thought I would. Anyway, I also have PE that day, which is not going to be very fun at all. I also have to cook a fish meal last lesson. I'm going to do fish cakes and salad. I always get really stressed out when I'm cooking at school (not that I ever cook at home) and I hate having to clean up everybody elses' mess. It's not my job to do.

I'm absolutely bursting for a pee right now, but I really can't be bothered to get up of the settee. I have to brush my teeth too and get changed into my pyjamas. Thinking about it, tonight Big Fluff and my pyjamas will smell of cigarettes. Nevermind.

Oh what a surprise, I'm not allowed to take this upstairs. My dad is a fucking knobhead.