I need for fucking Mana. Someone give it to me (Y) Do it now. The least you could do is join my house on Facebook ^_^ So I can thrash those mother fuckers and buy a FUCKING CAT FOR LIKE 4 MILLION GOLD. I NEED MORE INCOME BECAUSE I CAN'T GET ANY FUCKING MANA D: Ohh nooooooes I have to wait 42 more seconds (N)

Ouchies I have really bad stomach pains again.

I feel really sick again. My body seems to want to reject what I've just eaten (Y) Another thing to contribute to my already shitty mood. I'm not going to school tomorrow. Fuck 'em. I'll make it a 10 day weekend (Y) I'm not even enjoying myself at home. I lay in bed all day because that's the only way that I feel less sick.

Hmm... here's the blog post that I promised Dan. Well, I didn't promise him anything. I did say that I'd try to get one done though (Y) I didn't think that anybody missed reading about the tales of my life tbh, but apparently they do :O I have to admit that I've been blogging elsewhere about stuff that I don't want everyone to read... so... yeah... :/ I'll still try to update on here every so often though. It'll give me something to do when I feel bored (Y)

Where shall I start? Ah, yes. I'm rather enjoying not being at school :/ If I'm completely honest, I hate it there. Dad says that I have to go back on Monday (N) I understand that I can't keep having days off, but I feel so awful when I have to be at school and I can't concentrate on anything :/ Therefore, I learn nothing. It just feels like a complete waste of my time. I don't see why I should have to put myself through unnecessary pain and torture just to sit in some place that I don't even want to be in. I'm not joking, I suffer for every moment that I'm there. I don't even feel well enough to talk to my friends :( It's horrible. That's why I'm much better off at home. Also, I'm still feeling too sick to do anything (N) Hell, I can't even walk properly. My life is a bit shitty atm (N)

I've been to Cambridge today. Hurrah. Well, it's not really "hurrah" because I only went to the clinic o.O It was quite a positive experience tbh, even if I had to talk about some really difficult issues :/ I left the building with a smile on my face anyway. For the first time ever I actually believed that I was going to get better (Y) I'm going to continue going to those sessions because I feel like they may help me, but I'm not so sure about the medication yet. It's completely up to me as to whether I want to take it or not :/ I feel as if it's in my best interest to, but those who know me well will understand how much I hate medicine/pills. The good news is that they'd give me the smallest dosage, which comes in a liquid form (Y) That's one good thing at least because I sure as hell ain't swallowing no pills. The only thing that I'm concerned about now is the fact that I'd have to take it first thing in the morning :/ I'm not sure if I'm going to have the strength to though because I feel so ill. I can't even drink water tbh o.O

On a less depressing note... (bad pun intended)

I've gotten myself into Emma's Animal Crossing game. It's all I've been doing for the past few days tbh :/ I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but it certainly takes my mind off everything for a little while (Y) Hmm... I spend my days catching fictional migratory locusts to sell so that I can pay off my pretend mortgage :$ At least I'm enjoying it though... Well, I think I'm enjoying it.

I actually feel exhausted atm (N) The afternoons are when I feel the most tired, even if I feel tired pretty much all day *rolls eyes*

I did plan to meet up with Tom after school today, but I turned him down... yet again (N) I can't help not feeling well tbh :/ At least we have the weekend to look forward to (L) I'm determined to get out then. I might just go insane otherwise D: I'm pretty sure none of you would enjoy that. I'm already a nutter as it is :L

Aww at Jack e-mailing me from school ^_^ Even if he's not saying that much lol. At least someone cares.

I hope that satisfied those of you who missed my updates o.O Sorry that it wasn't particularly interesting. I haven't done anything with my life in the last 2 months.

Anybody that was in my group for science needs to see Mr. Malpass tomorrow at lunch time. I think that's just Emma, Jazz and Rissa, although Kathryn is going to sort some stuff out too. He wants to talk through our results because they're a bit shitty. Oh, and he says that some of the graphs haven't been done right. He also wants you to try to bring your coursework to him if you haven't already.

Got ready for school today, but didn't bother to go in. Sat and talked to my dad for about an hour this morning, then did several hours worth of work. I feel really pleased with myself tbh. I've achieved a lot today. I completed my analysis on those 6 graphs for my geography coursework, then I carried on to produce 4 more pages of work that I can analyse another day :] ALSO, I've finished my first page of business coursework, which is due in tomorrow. I've missed a couple of lessons now, so I really hope I'm not too far behind. I know what Mrs. Kay's like. She'll set us all the work at once (N) Anyway, my point is that I feel as if I've actually accomplished something today :D I've certainly done more work than I would've done at school...

I tried to log onto my school account from home, but it stull wouldn't work. As a result, I decided to email the IT Support guy's at school (Y) They should tell me what I'm doing wrong. It looked like a retard wrote the email because I didn't know what to tell them, but at least I tried to sort the problem out. I rarely use it tbh, but I want it to at least work for the times I want to use it. It's not much to ask.

----------------
Now playing: Depeche Mode - Personal Jesus
via FoxyTunes

I'm going to spend the rest of my day relaxing :) I've done enough work today. REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!

NO!

FUCK YOU!

*ZAPS*

Only Tom will understand that xD hahaha.

Jazz will be here in about half an hour. I feel kinda sleepy tbh, but hopefully I'll be alright. I'm just focused on surviving atm. I feel slightly sick, but that should be under control if I can sit down. This is usually the time that I'd have my nap lol because my eyes sting. Bleurgh... I'll try my best (Y)
"Baby steps"

I look like a shitty smurf pirate :L

I've just spent quite a lot of time helping Dan with his food coursework. At least I think I helped him a little. If I didn't, then nevermind. Gave me something to do for 20 minutes. It wouldn't have taken that long if my computer hadn't fucked up after I'd written it. So yeah, I had to type the whole thing out again from memory. I told him what I knew anyway. If I could log onto the school system from home, then I would tbh. I'd get little bits and bobs done when I felt like it. The problem that the remote access thing is having atm is the fact that it tells me my password is wrong. It's quite annoying really because I know my password is right. I've been using it for 3 years solid at school. I even used it last week, so I think they've got a bit of a bullshit reason not to let me sign in. Has anybody else experienced that problem before? Makes me wonder whether it's just mine that it does it with.

I woke up far too early. This means that I'm going to feel sick for the majority of the day. I've actually got tummy ache atm too. Oh, and I've developed a mouth ulcer (Y) I can't wait until the chronic back ache kicks in later. That's something for me to look forward to. Hurrah for sarcasm.

I actually have to get out of bed later (N) All the websites I've been on say that I need to try to get out to do 'normal' things. I really don't want to tbh. I choose my bed over my friends. That's how enthusiastic I am about it. How can I possibly enjoy it when I know that I'm just going to sit there and feel sick? I might be wrong, but I think that's quite unlikely, considering I've felt like it for about 2 months now. I'll come home thinking "fuck. I really am a vegetable." I really hope I'm wrong. I also hope that I cheer up by 2:30pm as well because that's when Jazz is coming to get me. I'm not gonna stay any later than 7:30 tbh because I think that 5 hours excitement is enough for me. I have trouble handling 2, so it's a bit of a challenge. I don't particularly want to be challenged, but oh well. I hope I don't get too sleepy.

My life really is shit right now. Absolutely fucking shit. I've got my appointment at the clinic on Thursday next week. They specialise in this sort of thing. If they can't make me any better, then I'm screwed tbh. I've been told that it's not instant. I know that. It's going to take a long time to make me better. I always said that I was an impatient person. I get so fucking frustrated that I'm not making any progress. If anything, I'm making backwards progress. I develop more symptoms as time goes on and the ones I've got seem to be getting worse. They should hurry the fuck up and make me better because I'm so fed up of living this life. I don't even feel better in the afternoons now. Well, not 'better', but improved. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. I certainly improve enough to be able to eat. I suppose that's a good thing.

I suppose I'll have to search around my room for some clothes to wear today. I'm not dressing up specially tbh. I'm gonna wear things that are comfortable. I really am like an old lady now. None of my clothes seem to fit anyway. They're either far to big or far to small. I don't understand why clothes fit one day, but not the next. I'm remaining a consistant weight now, so the clothes that fitted me still should fit. I give up.

----------------
Now playing: Genesis - The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway
via FoxyTunes

That's how cool I am.

I don't even know what I'm on about anymore.

I really wish that I was still asleep. It's the only time that I don't feel ill tbh. Also, I missed my early morning texts :( Dad had even asked me if I was going in today and it would've been so easy for me to say "no" :( I'm starting to wish that I had skipped today. I would only be missing 3 core subjects... I have maths, science, business, food and English today. I'm glad to be back with Mr. Wright today tbh. I've actually missed him. I mean, I like Mr. Palmer and Mrs. Lewis seems alright, but I'd much rather stick with one teacher. Oh, and I think I have to do a presentation today in English for the poem "Blessing" :( I hope that I don't have to say much or stand for too long because it makes me feel sick.

I can imagine myself happily tucked away in bed. It's a nice thought, but I can't keep skipping school. Imagine how behind I'd get with all the work :( I feel too ill to do it at school anyway. I actually did a lot of work at home yesterday and I'm quite pleased with myself, but I still don't feel better :(

I'm really disappointed that I wasn't strong enough to make it through an entire day. It was all going so well tbh. I was feeling well enough to speak to people and do a bit more, even if I was still feeling pretty much awful underneath it all.

Then it got to science :/

About 20 minutes before the end of the lesson, I started to feel really faint. I was quite alright until we all had to stand up for what seemed like forever to watch Mrs. Lewis do some stupid kidney dissection. When I sat down again, I felt really hot :/ I took my jumper off, but whilst doing that I lost some of my hearing and vision, so I asked to go to the Medical Room. I honestly wouldn't have interupted her speaking if I didn't feel like I was going to pass out. I thought I was going to collapse on the way out of the room tbh because I could barely see or hear anything.

I figured it's because I hadn't eaten anything all day. Well, apart from crisps... which aren't exactly the greatest of all things.

Other than that, I've actually had an alright day. I didn't have to do anything for geography because we were sitting in the LRC, French was pretty good, I got loads of work completed in food, had a laugh with Emma in English... so it was just the science lesson that ruined it really.

ALSO, I GOT TO HUG TOM TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 34 DAYS. We walked into each other around a corner. Pretty epic tbh lol.

I'm struggling at school. Can any of you help with my list? I want a list of things I can look forward to at school. I know it sounds silly, but I can't get through the day without trying to be positive. So far I have 8 things.

1. I can look forward to feeling slightly better in the afternoon
2. I can sit down at lunch and break without having to do anything
3. If I really want to, then I can skip lessons and sit in the medical room
4. If I need somebody to talk to, Mrs Grant is always there
5. I don’t have to cook on Tuesday or Wednesday and therefore do not have to clean up everybody else’s mess
6. I have friends who understand how I feel and they can take it slow and try to make me feel better
7. I won’t have to take lessons that I don’t like for much longer
8. I can go home in less than 7 hours and do whatever I like

"thursday when i came home from school, mrs lewis the science teacher was on masterchef goes large. i was like "0.0WTFFFF" i have scoured the internet to find the episode, but i couldn't. i'm ashamed. first it was mr. malpass on come dine with me, now mrs lewis on masterchef, what next, mr palmer on river cottage? i'd love that, actually. hugh fernly-whittingstall (Y)"

- http://thedustfairy.blogspot.com/

LMFAO!! Wifey (L)

I've spent almost 2 hours doing science revision today on SAM Learning.
*Gasps* You might think that I've gone completely insane, but they've updated the website now. It's actually quite a big improvement tbh and I can see myself on it more in the future. Well, at least I have the option to revise now if I want to, whereas, I didn't really have anything before.

I felt quite inspired to do some revision after getting my science exam results back.
Chemistry: A (44/50 marks)
Physics: A (40/50 marks)
Biology: B (35/50 marks)

Can you tell which subject I had Mr. Malpass for? ^o) Don't get me wrong, he really does know what he's talking about. It's just a shame that he couldn't pass his knowledge onto me very well...
I can guarentee you, had I been tought biology by Mr. Wright, I would've gotten an A grade. He really is a good teacher tbh. Well, good for me. I'm going to ask if I can resit that exam at the end of the year because I really would like a chance to do better. I shouldn't settle for B's, should I? I am a "grade A student" after all. ^o)

I have to be up in about 12 hours :'( I know that I'm going to feel awful and I'm scared. I'm scared of waking up in the mornings because I know that it'll be the same. I'm almost scared of sleeping too because I know that I have to wake up. I guess I'll just have to take whatever bullshit that life throws at me. *Sigh*

Dirty babe
You see the shackles
Baby I'm your slave
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave
It's just that no one makes me feel this way

Yay for Justin Timberfaggot.

Baby, wake up.
Baby, come see.
And if you lose your way,
Just hold on to me.
The flames have all died out,
Our hearts are still beating.
The rain is gone,
The rain is gone.

Just look around.

Our time is not up,
Our place is in the sun.
So just wipe the ashes from your eyes, Girl-
There's so much work to be done.
And there's no way to be sure,
Just be sure to keep breathing.
We'll just keep movin' on,
we'll keep movin' on.

And look around.

We're not o.k.
But, Baby- we're alright.
So just make love to the day,
And hold each other tight.
Just remember your song,
Don't forget to keep singing.
Cause our love is a bomb.
Our love is a bomb.

Just look around.
Keep your eyes open, it's alright.
Keep your eyes open, it's alright.
Make better years from bitter days-
This is our time, This is our place.
Look Around.

Just look around.

I fail to understand why I'm such a paranoid person and why I automatically assume that I'm in the wrong, even though I have nothing to be guilty of. I also look at situations and create problems that don't actually exist and probably never will exist. Why do I do this? Does it mean that I think about everything too much? I certainly have to think quite a bit to come to some of the conclusions that I do, but it's only because I'm a curious person. Perhaps I push it too far sometimes. I know that I should take a break from thinking once in a while, but how do you turn off your brain? How is it even possible to forget about problems that you have? Surely that's just a form of denying them?

This was a random blog post full of things that I don't understand. I'm not sure if they even make any sense. I don't even know what I'm talking about right now, which is slightly weird. It came from nowhere. Anyway, I should go now and watch American Dad to "take my mind off things".

Guess what?

I feel like shit.

I have to go up town today as well to buy birthday presents.

How many times do I have to try to tell you
That I'm sorry for the things I've done
But when I start to try to tell you
That's when you have to tell me
Hey... this kind of trouble's only just begun
I tell myself too many times
Why don't you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut
That's why it hurts so bad to hear the words
That keep on falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Tell me...
Why
Why

I may be mad
I may be blind
I may be viciously unkind
But I can still read what you're thinking
And I've heard it said too many times
That you'd be better off
Besides...
Why can't you see this boat is sinking
(this boat is sinking this boat is sinking)
Let's go down to the water's edge
we can cast away those doubts
Some things are better left unsaid
But they still turn me inside out
Turning inside out turning inside out
Tell me...
Why
Tell me...
Why

This is the book I never read
These are the words I never said
This is the path I'll never tread
These are the dreams I'll dream instead
This is the joy that's seldom spread
These are the tears...
The tears we shed
This is the fear
This is the dread
These are the contents of my head
And these are the years that we have spent
And this is what they represent
And this is how I feel
Do you know how I feel
'Cause I don't think you know how I feel
I don't think you know what I feel
I don't think you know what I fear
You don't know what I fear

I'm about to watch Mean Girls :) Out of everything on my shelf, I thought that this one would be the best. It's set in a school background and is therefore appropriate revision, right? I'm revising how not to treat difficult social situations, so fuck you, school (Y)

Also, I'm going to eat lunch today :O For the first time in 4 days. It's only chicken nuggets tbh, but that's all I wanted. Another thing that I didn't mention is I feel better than I usually do at school. I woke up at 6:50am feeling like fucking shit, texted Tom for an hour or so, then went back to sleep again until about 11am :) I still feel bad, but not as bad. I can settle with that tbh. It's a nice feeling to walk and not want to throw up. Also, I would rather fuck a pig in the arsehole with a strap on than go to school ^_^

My nan is sitting downstairs. She's lovely. I might go down later so I can laugh at her doing retarded things like somehow make everything fall out of our fridge :L Or maybe she can save more dead hedgehogs from our pond.

Okay, tantrum over.

It's much better to get emotions out so I've been told.

I can't tell you how angry I am about the school phoning home to see where I was today. I suspect that fucking new head twatter has been making her wonderful "improvements" to the system. For a start, It's not as if I have a bad attendance record. I can't tell you how many fucking attendence certificates I have tbh. In fact, shall I go through them? Well, you have no choice in this because I'm going to do it anyway.

"This is to certify that Sarah Ward, 7H has achieved an attendance rate of 100.0%" x 2

"This certificate is awarded to Sarah Ward for 100% attendance from September 2006-July 2007"

"This certificate is awarded to Sarh Ward for 100% attendance in the Spring Term of 2007"

I'll tell you what, they can FUCK OFF... the cunts.

Not only am I angry about this, but the school has been informed about the situation with my mum. What if she had been sleeping, then the phone rings and wakes her up? Or what if she had even fucking died in the night, huh? Is that a good enough reason to stay off school for the day? Also, some fucking secretary twat in the office phoned. Like my mum's going to tell her why I'm off. They've planned to tell the head of year on Monday about all the SHIT that's going on in my life. Someone who actually matters. Someone who doesn't sit on their arse all day doing fuck all for a job.

If I had swine flu, then I would've given it to everybody else already, so what's the fucking point in phoning? I hate the way they interfer and make things worse.

You know what? I'm off school because I woke up and felt too fucking ill to walk, okay? I've fought through 4 days of absolute shite, spending an hour yesterday just sitting in the "Medical Room" crying because I couldn't get up to English. Do they know what it's like to live life on breaking point? T0 be at the point where you doint give a fucking shit what happens anymore? When you try so hard to carry on like 'normal', but can't do it anymore because you're feeling so low? Do they know what it's like to feel so sick that you can't eat anything all day? I wonder if they know what it's like to have a family torn apart? To be ripped away from someone you love or to have to suffer every day watching them and knowing? Do they know how ill I feel every day? I spend every lesson trying to be sick or cry. I can't talk to any of my friends because I feel so bad. I can barely move. I'm trying my best. I'm only just getting by with the work and I'm really stressed about it. They don't care about me at all. The only person who has shown some form of concern has been Mrs Grant and love her for it. She might be a nagging bitch sometimes because of our class, but she's always been nice to me.

The rest of them are a load of inconsiderate cunts tbh. They can go home to their perfect families and enjoy their happy lives whilst I drown in mine. I want to hurt myself for not being stronger because I feel so angry. I'm not going to, but that is what they've drawn me to. Now I don't feel like eating any lunch and I don't even want to get out of bed. I was planning to revise today tbh, but now I'm not going to bother. What's the point? It's getting me nowhere. I might as well get back in bed and lay in my self pity, pain and sickness.

They can rot in hell. They really can. I hope such place exists so they can pay for the pain they make me feel.

Mr Jackson has gone fucking insane over the holiday...
Yes, MORE insane than he was before.
I'm not joking :/ :L

Do you want to know what he did today?
He brought in a "pique-nique dégoûtant" :/
For those of you who don't know any French, that translates as "disgusting picnic"

He opened this bright blue lunch bag and took out the following:
1. Some bits of dried pasta
2. A bottle of congealed week-old milk
3. Some dried up pieces of ham
4. A slice of almost mouldy bread
5. A packet of old chicken that STANK
6. Some stale cereal
7. A handful of grated cheese
8. An old orange peel
9. Some vegetables that looks over a week old
10. A half eaten Oreo
11. An old burger
12. Some two day old chips that reeked +o(

And do you want to know what he did with them? :/
He spread them all around the classroom for our "picnic"
What did he put on my table?
THE FUCKING CHEESE

I've felt really ill today and this didn't help in the slightest (N)
I found it hilarious and I love his sense of humour, but it really was fucking disgusting :L

Mr Palmer is even more cool than I remembered (Y)
I made water bend today :O
Was awesome and I'm definitely NOT going to do it later :L

Yeah, today has been my worst day so far and I've felt awful. Don't even wanna talk about it tbh :/

Day 3 =
:'(

My second day at school wasn't any better than my first. This morning was particularly horrible because I felt like I was going to be sick on the way to school. I even felt like giving up and walking back home again, but I'd already gotten half way. I guess I saw that my cup was half full for the first time in my life. I've been feeling really ill for about 90% of the day and have been struggling to get around, but I managed to fight through it again. I don't wanna spend the rest of my time fighting to get through school every day. I need to get better soon, but it feels like it's not going to happen. I hate the fact that I could be doing this for months or years even.

Maths was pretty good this morning. Mrs Grant didn't nag at us too much like she usually does and I really like where I sit. I'm next to Ryan, but Jazz, Alex, Claire and Martin are on my table too. I feel comfortable talking to them about the work and stuff, whereas, I had no one last year. Yeah, so I'm really happy about that. I think the after school maths sessions are starting again on the 16th. I really want to go to them because I need all the help I can get with maths. However, if I don't start to feel any better, then I can't really go. It's a shame. I suppose I could do work at home, but it's not the same as having someone show you what to do. I'm not very talented with maths, seeing as I'm missing 4 years of knowledge.

My next lesson was science. I didn't have too much trouble walking there, but I still didn't feel very good. I'm starting to understand what Mr Wright is on about now with his force exertions. I've even completed my homework for him. Not only that, but I put effort into it. Also, I stuck the loose sheets into my book and labelled them. He should be pleased when he marks it.

I didn't particularly enjoy my first business lesson of the year. Hearing Mrs Kay's voice again wasn't a pleasant experience, but at least I got on and did the work today. I feel as if I haven't learnt anything, but it's her fault. I gave her my full attention. At least I got to sit next to George. Oh, another thing... the results for my coursework came through. I managed to only just scrape a C grade. I'm ecstatic about it because she told me I'd only get a D. This isn't my final grade because I have the chace to make improvements if I want to. I really would like an A, but I can't remember several months ago when we did the work, which is quite a problem. Last year's work all went downhill tbh. I stopped trying. I think that's when I started to get ill.

After that I had another food lesson. I didn't get much work done at all. I felt horribly unmotivated to do it, so I didn't. This means I will have to spend my weekend catching up on everything I haven't done in the lessons this week. I've completed all my questionnaires using my 25 multiple personalities. I just had to ask myself "what would Immanuel Reichmann do?" Now I have all the data I need to produce graphs and stuff. I'm pretty much where I should be, but I like to get ahead. One thing that really shat on my day is the fact that I have to cook twice next week. Two days in a row. I don't want to do it and I don't know if I'm even going to be able to. I can't stand up for ages and faff about cleaning up everybody elses shit. The smell of food makes me close to throwing up, so there's a bit of a problem. Don't know what I'm going to do yet. I mean, we might even have our school photos on that day. My teacher hasn't planned it very well at all and I'm not impressed.

Last lesson was English. I have to do a presentation about this poem called "Blessing" for Thursday, second lesson. That's not going to be fun. Mornings = fail. I had a laugh with Emma today though. I shall put some stuff on my 'happy blog' after I've finished this. http://www.happydayswillhealthepain.blogspot.com/

Guess what I managed to do today? SQUIRT MY DRINK IN MY SCHOOL BAG... WHICH SOAKED LAST YEAR'S MATHS BOOK. Doesn't matter because I'm not using it anymore, but still, it was quite retarded.

I feel so sick. I can't walk very well, but in just over 20 minutes Jazz will be at my door :( I don't want to go to school, but I have to. Every day seems like it's gonna be the same fight to get through. Who wants to live their life like that? Not me :( I personally need to take things slow, but everybody around me doesn't, so I have to do it at their speed.

I've got maths first thing this morning, so I only have to walk literally across the corridor to my classroom, but I hope that I can sit next to someone nice for once. Never had much luck with maths. After that, I've got science, which shouldn't be too bad. The only problem is walking to my classroom. Then business, food and English.

I should go now :(

I enjoy the new seating plan in English :]
I get to sit next to my Wifey! Jazz and Tilly are on the table next to me as well :]
I hope it stays permanent because I will enjoy it very muchly :]
I'll actually have people to talk to about work and other random shit :]

School was shit today :]
Really fucking SHIT :]
Could barely walk this morning and felt like I was gonna be sick :]
I have been in constant pain all day :]
I've also felt unhappy at times :]

We had a fire drill and I had to waddle down two flights of stairs :]
It hurt me to walk :]

There's a new girl called Camille in my food class :]
She doesn't seem to speak much English, but is nice enough :]
I really enjoyed going back to my fucking mong class full of slappers :]
I really missed all their shouting and I can't wait to do my first practical :]
I love the way the smell of food makes me want to be sick :]
Also, I look forward to doing everybody elses washing up for them because they can't fucking be bothered :]

Mr Levet was REALLY nice :]
I need to ask him for a senior student application form :]
That means I actually have to talk to him, but I don't want to :]
I'm only doing it so that I don't fail at like :]
So that it might make it a little easier for me to get into college :]
Also, I don't want to be the only retard in a white shirt :]
I look forward to dad shouting at me about the cost of the shirt after he bought two new ones :]

My science timetable is really fucking confusing, but I still have Mr Wright :]
He's amazing :]
Today we got to blow up balloons and piss about :]
I don't like physics though :]
I find them difficult and confusing :]

I like the fact I got a B on my Frankenstein essay :]
I wrote under 900 words :]
I had to write it during a difficult time and she told me it was rubbish :]
I shouldn't settle for B's, but I do :]
Deal with it cockheads :]

Oooooh I have Mrs Kay soon :]
I fucking love her :]
She's the shard of light in my miserable life :]
I haven't seen her for months :]
Yay for sarcasm :]

My school bag seems to be ready for the morning and my uniform is neatly hung up in my wardrobe (Y) Alarm clock is set for 6:50am, which is 10 minutes later then I used to set it. I shouldn't have too much to do when I get up now.

I've got quite a bit of a headache tbh. Woke up feeling bad, had a shower, did hours of geography coursework, relaxed for a bit and then my head started hurting. It's been like that all afternoon. Oh well. No one seems to give a damn.

I'm actually bored out of my fucking skull right now. I have nothing to do or no one to talk to.

Self help really is a pile of shit.

Physical:

Unhelpful: Stomach cramps, low energy, feel sick

Helpful: None - feel comfortable

You can't just deny the fact that there's something wrong. That's what I've been doing for the last few months and look where it's gotten me. I'm sure lying to yourself doesn't do any good either.

I'm really not looking forward to school tomorrow. I just can't function that early in the morning. Mainly because I feel so sick that I can't move. So yeah, walking to school is going to be fun.
:( Sorry if I don't talk much, Jazz. I'll probably be walking unbearably slow too. That's if I don't leave a bit earlier to save you the hassle.

Also, about parties. Idk if I can make it to either :'( I can't see myself any better by the 19th for Emma's party, but I'll see how it goes at school and stuff. I just can't say atm. I don't want to turn up to either party and just sit there feeling terrible. I hope it gets better though because I like parties :(

It's starting to feel like I'm never going to get better tbh. It's hard to tell myself "it doesn't last forever" :( But idk what to do to make it go away. No one really helps me that much so I'm going to look up self help shit. Chris helps a lot with random advice, Tom listens and Tilly tells me it's going to be okay, but it doesn't make me any less ill.

Bye.

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Now playing: The Human League - Love Action (I Believe In Love)
via FoxyTunes

Someone please tell me why I'm stuck in the 80s! :L

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Now playing: Kraftwerk - The Model
via FoxyTunes

Their German accent is fucking epic tbh and the synthesizer... is... AMAZING! Seriously, these guys could kick The Prodigy's ass so bad rofl :L They don't sound like an autistic child having a seizure xD Ooooh ja!

LMAO!
"She's posing for consumer products now and then.
For every camera she gives the best she can."

The bloke's accent really does make this song. I can't describe it.

What is it with me and foreign accents?
I was like "LOL Rodrigo!" x]
They really are awesome tbh though
:)

I feel sick (N) Then again, what's new? ^o)

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Now playing: Human League - Don't You Want Me
via FoxyTunes

I got my hair cut today :) It was starting to piss me off tbh. I felt really ill this morning and wasn't sure if I'd even be able to make it into the town, but it got easier. I started to feel sick after I saw Wifey! in Waitrose though :(

Click on the link and you'll get a pleasant surprise ^-^

I managed to get my land use map completed today :) I only have half of key question 1 to get done now. I seriously doubt it'll be finished by tomorrow, but oh well. I can still try, can't I? The funny little Chinese man said that giving in was failure :( MEW I only have 2 more key questions to do. Hooray. That will take me 2 weeks D:
COCK. It's not my fault I'm really ill :(:(:(:(

I'm drinking my twat atm :D
Tango
With
Added
Tango

ofc ;D

Yay for nationalities :L

Just been up town with mum for a while. Complete waste of my fucking time tbh. I reckon I could get a better conversation out of a brick wall. Seriously, she said hardly anything. She just spent all her time wondering around shops like a vegetable. She didn't listen to me at all. She never has done and never will. Just the way she is.
*Sigh*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uavx4KH7Oo8&NR=1

HAHA!

LOL!

*Proud* I have officially made my Firefox look fit. I spent a while searching through all the add-ons and I installed some of the more perty ones (Y) Now my screen looks alive. FoxTab is pretty sexy, but is only useful if you've got a lot of tabs going on at once, which sometimes I do :L
So yeaaaaaah, that's what I spent my morning doing *sad face*

Whoa. It be almost 11am! That means I've been up for... I actually have no idea D: Where has the rum time gone? I've had no one to talk to tbh (N) Tom's usually up by now. I'm almost certain I sent him a random text written in French earlier *checks in her sentbox*, but let's not talk about that :/ I was having a bit of a moment and I felt the need to tell him that it was windy outside... :L Basically, what I meant was "Goooood morning! I am awake!"
You's just gots to translate'acus'eth it :]

I should probably get up soon... MLEH. I still feel pretty tired. Not surprised tbh, seeing as I went to bed at like something o'clock and a half in the am :L I was talking to Stuiebear, C-dawg and Tommybbz for quite a while (Y) It wasn't about "fucking fat pig rabbits" this time :) Lawl. (That's my attempt at Stargazerish)

Yes, my Lord! I shall arise from mon lit! I'ma have a shower actually. It might make me feel a bit better (Y) I don't feel as ill as I have done this morning :O Then again, I haven't attempted to get up or move about yet :/

OH FUCK *epic sad face* I've got to get some more of my geography coursework done today :'( I'm really stuck on it tbh because it's all drawing graphs and shizz. If I wasn't lacking in 4 years of math skillage, then perhaps I'd be able to do it. I suppose if I can't figure it out, then I can move onto the next bit. It'll kill me to have to do that, but what else can I do? :/ Apparently I have to get up to key question 2 before we go back. I should probably get started on key question 1 :/ I worked really hard yesterday to get my table of methodolody completed tbh. I wrote over 1000 words on it (Y) Hopefully I won't epically fail now... I mean, I have attempted to make a start on it, even if I am feeling like shit.

My nan had to hook this dead hedgehog out of our pond yesterday. Idk why, but I found it vaguely amusing. I think it's the way that my nan went "I JUST HAD TO HOOK A DEAD HEADGEHOG OUT OF THE POND AND IT WAS ALL STIFF!" as soon as I came downstairs tbh. It's not the sort of thing you get shouted in your face every day. Poor Mr. Hedgehog (N) Au revoir *waves*

I had a weird dream last night that I was in my food classroom with Mr. Bray and we were doing this weird geography work. I was bursting for a pee, but when I went to the toilet, I couldn't pee *gasps* I felt like someone was watching me ¬¬

Talking about geography, I've almost completed the introduction for my coursework :]
I've been aiming to get about 300 words written each day this week and I'm doing well so far because I have 742 (Y) There's no way that I'm going to get it finished before I go back tbh, but at least I've made a start on something to hand in. I haven't been well enough to do anything :/ Hopefully the teachers won't shout at me for being ill.

I'm really worried about going back to school :'( I don't know if I'm going to be able to get up so early and walk about. Usually I feel so sick that I can't move. That's already a problem :( I haven't met up with friends for 22 days. I've only been out of the house 4 times. Once to go to the doctors, once to walk round the block and twice up town :( I'm so scared of going out because I feel so bad.

Hmm I'ma get up for a shower now.