You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute, baby.

I always said that I liked silver, but I can't help wishing that I could be gold. I'm just not good enough. It reminds me of my primary school sports days, only the standards were never that high. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't do it because I wasn't the right person for the job. I always ended up with a second or third place sticker.

Sense? This makes none.
Hurrah.

It's almost 1pm. I have done nothing today. I've only been up for about half an hour. I can't be bothered to do anything. I'm awake, but I'm not. This is what happens when I stay up until 2am or whatever the fuck the time was. I must sleep tonight because I'll be round Emma's tomorrow and I sure as hell won't be getting to bed until 4am or something equally ridiculous. It's all good fun though.

I JUST FOUND A BAG OF FUCKING GIANT ROAST BEEF MONSTER MUNCH IN THE CUPBOARD. I PRACTICALLY JIZZED IN MY PANTS. SHIT THEY ARE ACTUALLY MASSIVE. AT LEAST FOUR TIMES THE SIZE OF A NORMAL PACKET. I CAN'T EXPLAIN HOW EXCITED I AM.

Anyway... hurrah!

I am boooooooored, but nevermind.

I am currently lying, but only to myself. I can't help my mind thinking things. Perhaps it's my own fault. I don't get a kick out of ruining things, it just happens. Meh. :/

I think I'm going to write all about my day because I have nothing better to do right now. :)

I woke up at about 8:30am this morning, and I got up immediately because I was bursting for a pee. After that I started washing my hair even though I was still half asleep, then I dried it and even straightened it. *Gasps* (I rarely straighten) Then there was the usual routine of getting changed and so on, which took ages because I didn't realise it was raining and had to get changed into something warmer. I couldn't find anything either because all my clothes are covered in mud. (That's what happens when I go to playparks most nights)

Anyway, after that I came downstairs and I am missing about an hour and a half of my life out because I don't remember it. Like I said, I was still asleep and in a dazed state. I left the house early and walked all the way to Cherry Hill, where I met Kirsty. Luckily I left early because she told me to meet her there at 11:15am when she meant 11am. Lol'eth what a spaz. :) It's a good job that I'm a time freak. Then we walked to the train station together and I waved to the retarded man on the way. He makes me laugh. He's really old and looks like he talks to his dog. I ever got a thumbs up from him. That made me feel well special. ;)

We met Becky and Lucy there and went off to Cambridge. I sat next to some random man on the way there and I think he was getting annoyed at us all talking about crap lol. None of us could be bothered to walk to the Grafton Centre so we caught the bus there. I paid for Becky and Lucy paid for Kirsty. (Because we're so nice) I spent £1.80 on Becky today. :) When we got to the Grafton Centre we went to Boots to buy drinks, then we went to Poundland and bought a load of sweets, crisps and chocolate to smuggle into the cinema. I was very happy because I had roast beef flavoured Monster Munch, which I am currently addicted to. I also bought a MASSIVE Toblerone. :) After that we bought out tickets, went to pee and then found some seats. I LOVED THE FILM SO MUCH! 'Twas so retarded and the Egyptian guy made me laugh like hell. I couldn't take him seriously with that lisp. xD

After that we went shopping. I bought nothing. I wanted to buy a handbag, but failed miserably. :( Ah well. Haaaa then we got a bus back to the train station. I took lots of pictures on the way home and they are now on facebook yay. :) I bought a Chinese on the way home. Yet abother £7 something wasted on food. Hopefully I'll get a refund from my dad, but I don't think so.

I will stop wolf whistling at people now. (Y) HURRAH! Every post has to have a 'hurrah'. ;)

I think I can hear someone throwing up. Actually, a lot of laughing and a lot of gagging. I hate having my bedroom directly above the bathroom because I hear almost everything. It's disgusting. I really dislike hearing people being sick. I'm just glad that it was a false alarm this time. That's something to smile about I guess.

I'm going to Cambridge tomorrow with Kirsty, Becky, Lucy and Duncan. I haven't got a fucking clue who Duncan is, but I've been told that he's cool. I'll be able to see for myself tomorrow. It all seems okay, apart from we're going quite late into the day. I'll just go with the flow this time because they're not my arrangements. I prefer to go nice and early, but whatever. We're going to see a film, but I don't know what. It's pretty unorganised, but I need to get out of the house. I think it'll do me good. I'm looking forward to it. NEWS FLASH. We're going to see Night at The Museum 2. I haven't even heard of it before, let alone seen the first film. I'll just have it explained to me. :) Who's Ben Stiller? Apparently he's in it. (Taking to Kirsty right now as well) NEWS FLASH 2. Duncan isn't going. He's going to the beach. Won't meet him after all.

My day has been pretty boring. I went up town by myself, but I didn't go into any shops. I walked around Ely for just over an hour. I needed to get out of the house. I was glad that no one was with me to be honest. It's good to have time alone sometimes. I did go out after dinner though because I was feeling much better. I managed to get thorns and leaves down my trousers because I got tree raped. Lol'eth good times. :D There was some other stuff too, but not worth going into really.

I should probably go to bed, seeing as I'm going out tomorrow, but I really don't feel like ending the day just yet. I don't have to be up until 9:30am at the latest anyway. Actually, gonna charge my phone up. That's always a good idea. Oh fuck the cable is downstairs. I'll bring it up when I go for a pee later. (Y) I hope I'm not peeing all day tomorrow. I hate it when that happens. Sometimes I'm fine and I don't have to go for ages, other days it's all the time. It's got a lot better recently actually. Lol I'll stop talking about pee now. NEWS FLASH 3. Becky might not be going either. Ah well, 2 down. Only 3 to go now.

I like hugs. They make me happy. :)

I was wondering in the rain...
I might go and do that later. I'm in one of those moods. I'll go and sit on my own and listen to some music or something. I'd need to get changed out of my pyjamas first though. I've only been awake for about an hour and a half to be honest, but I had a terrible night. I didn't sleep very much at all because I kept having nightmares. I can't think properly today. I don't know what I feel. Everything's all jumbled.

Snow is falling,
All around me,
Children playing,
Having fun.

:) Well, none of those things are actually happening, but I'm in a good mood anyway. I would be worried if it was snowing all around me because I am in my bedroom, and as for the children bit... no comment. ;)

My day hasn't been too bad. I went up town with the wife, and then Jazz came along and we did retarded things. :) After that I went out with Adam and now I have really gay 80's and 90's music stuck in my head. Hahahaha not Right Said Fred gay though. xD

I'm bored now. Goodbye.

I find my dad one of the most irritating people to be around. Why the fuck would I want to sit around in the house all day? I know that my knee is still a bit dodgy, but it's not as if I'm going to go running around or climbing up trees. I'm just walking into town and then walking back to Kathryn's house, where I will spend the rest of my day. It would all be far too simple for that to be the end of the argument. Of course I have to fit this around dinner. He has decided to cook it half an hour later than we'd usually have it. Honestly, does anybody want to eat a roast dinner on a hot day like this? OMFG! "Okay okay, I'll cook dinner for 12. Is that better?" He has given in! I am completely over this argument now because he realised that he was being a cock. :)

Yaaaaaay I got a text! :D 'Twas from Adam'eth. Yaaaaaaaay! I got another text. T'was from Adam'eth. I've got to stop talking'eth like that'eth because it is weird'eth. People haven't got a clue'eth what I am talking about'eth lol'eth, and it generally confuses them'eth.

I forget what I was talking about'eth now'eth. Toodles'eth. :)

----------------
Now playing: Kula Shaker - Sound Of Drums
via FoxyTunes

Today I had the day off school. I'm feeling fine, but I can't walk properly. I went back to bed as soon as my alarm went off because I thought it would be pointless going in. I seriously doubt whether I would've actually learnt anything today anyway. I had maths, citizenship, French, geography and then a mock physics exam last lesson for science. I know for a fact I would've done nothing in 3 of those lessons, so I thought I'd start my school holiday early.

The update on my knee:
I'm pretty much fine when I'm walking normally, but as soon as I want to do anything such as go up the stairs, it becomes more difficult. It feels like the kneecap has come out of place or something and needs cracking back into place by a doctor. I personally don't see it getting better any time soon, so I think I can safely say that my holiday is ruined. If there are no signs of it improving in a week then I'm going to hospital. That is the most sensible thing to do. This pisses me off a lot, but there's nothing I can do about it.

----------------
Now playing: Kula Shaker - Radhe Radhe
via FoxyTunes

My fingers are pretty bad as well at the moment because I played my guitar for about an hour. the first time I've picked it up in ages. I plugged it in and turned the amp. up as loud as it'd go. I'm sure this pleased our neighbours. I also plugged my keyboard into the hi-fi so that I could get it much louder and I played along to songs using the computer. There are now cables all over the floor. Dad can help me clean them up later.

I am pleased because I know I'm having a Chinese for dinner tonight. I'm already slightly overweight for my height, but I'm past caring. Don't try to change me, bitch. Perhaps when I get my fear of food sorted out then I can start to watch what I am eating. Until that day there isn't much point caring.

----------------
Now playing: Kula Shaker - Shower Your Love
via FoxyTunes

I think I'm going to go and have a bath now. I'm bored. I'll wash my hair as well because I couldn't be bothered to do it this morning. I'll dry it and I might even straighten it for something to do. How sad.

FUCK

I bent down to get my Netbook from under the bed and my knee somehow locked up and I couldn't move it. Then I lost my balance and it was forced to lay straight when it was still all locked up. It was the second most painful thing I've ever experienced in my life, after breaking my finger. I lay there on the floor for a good 8 minutes because I couldn't move. I don't think my mum realises how serious it is because I'm not complaining, but it fucking hurts. It's swollen already and hurts when straightened out. No more playing about for me. :( This makes me feel sad because it might've ruined my holiday. Hopefully it will be all better by tomorrow, but it won't be at this rate. Oh good, my parents are arguing over it right now. The pain has increased to an 8/10 and I'm not taking painkillers. I'm not in the mood for them.

I hate it when serious things happen, and I'm not talking about my knee. I mean really serious. I just wish I could understand. At least I wasn't involved in the action at all.

I'm not going to talk anymore because it hurts.

I think I might be hallucinating because I'm so tired. I don't actually know what's going on around me and I can barely keep my head up. My eyes keep rolling and I can't concentrate. I haven't felt like this for a long time. I haven't actually done much today if I'm honest. I've had a lazy day at school, but I did spend several hours running around the playpark afterwards. Me and Marta did some really retarded things today. 'Twas very fun. However, it's hard to stay concious when you only got about 7 hours sleep and you've had such a boring day at school.

I'm actually pretty fucking pissed off right now because I want some orange juice. I cant be bothered to go and get some. I want it really bad and I want it now. No one will get it for me. Ah well fuck you.

Can't think of anything else to say.

I don't know what sort of mood I'm in right now. I feel like I could've tried better. I feel like I've let someone down, even if I haven't technically done so. I just don't like to be the one who has to find out all the answers and say them because they're not necessarily what people want to hear. I'm sorry. I only did what I could. It was all so unusual to me and strange.

Anyway, I should be trying to get to sleep right now, even though I've started more conversations with people. I am tired and I can't concentrate. I've been unbearably tired since about 9:30pm to be honest. It's because I've been getting up so early. I know it's only 6:40am, but I take ages for me to wake up. Sometimes I'm not good in mornings. You've just got to accept that future husband lol. Just fuck off and leave me to wake up and you won't get hurt or raped with my sleepy words. ;)

Goonight.

mr. jackson's sexy tie

I go to school and work as hard as I have to so that I can get my grades and I come home and do all the necessary pieces of homework. Why is my mum trying to ruin any fun that I have afterwards? I know she wants me to stay in because she "won't be here forever", but sitting at home doing nothing is one of the most depressing things that I could possibly do. I don't see any issues with me having fun to be honest. What's the point in coming home an hour earlier? I'm just gonna sit there and vegetate on the computer. I find this really fucking irritating. Sorry mum, but it's not going to happen. If you're going to be difficult with me, then I'll be difficult with you. We all know how awkward I can be sometimes. This is no challenge for me. Once again, another boring and pointless argument. *Sigh*

Today hasn't been too bad actually. Apart from science because it was painfully boring and I find Wade really irritating. I won't bother going into reasons, but I really dislike him. He's nice enough, but I just don't like him. I wish he'd stop poking me and touching my stuff for a start because one day I'll just punch him in the face like I did with Daniel, and nobody wants that. I was talking to Daniel last night and he wasn't so bad. I don't think he's such a cunt anymore to be honest. I still don't want to get involved though. Wow. Let's hope they don't ever read that or else they will be offended.

You're probably going to be like "WTF?" about my blog title. Mr. Jackson was wearing a tie today. It was a very sexy tie. ;) Nah, just kidding. It looked ridiculous with his shirt. Just because he's interviewing for some new staff and showing people round doesn't mean that he has to wear une cravate. It made me laugh when I saw it. I got to sit next to George today and it made me feel really really really happy because I love him like hell. It's felt strange sitting in the foundation paper set, but I didn't care because I was with my little retard. :)

I don't actually have any clothes to wear today and it's annoying. I'm wearing a really old pair of black jeans and they're HORRIBLE. I wore them once and my dad washed all the colour out of them. Now they're kind of green. Another £20 down the drain. Nevermind. I might search for some more later because these ones really make me feel like shit.

This guy on TV is a complete cock. He points at really old people and says "I sense that someone in your life has died. Perhaps your mother... or even your father." You fucking retard of course they've died! How can anyone watch this shit? It's really irritating. I'm not sure why my mum has Zone Reality on anyway. Doesn't matter. She is cooking my dinner right now. Hurrah for pasta. :)

Carrot Top Kirby is my bestest chum... Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa I'm so annoying aren't I, Kenny? xD

To start with... RETURN OF SIR STARZAGER OMG! Eeeeeeek my day gets better. I missed all your ecouraging life talks and retarded moo comments. MOO MOO MOO. :D <-- Such a happy smiley. I am feeling very happy right now...almost too happy. It's a great feeling when you smile and you mean it.

My day hasn't been perfect, but it's been pretty good. I've been feeling really positive. I haven't felt like this for a long time. When I woke up this morning, it felt good to be alive. I did something that I shouldn't have done the other day, but I am smiling. At the time it felt like the right thing to do, and it helped, but I don't agree with it. For that reason, I'm not going to do it again. I am doing it for myself. I've got to learn that I choose what I do in my life. I have to choose the right things for myself, not for others or because I know I have to, but for me.

I actually bothered to make some useful notes in science today. I used all pretty colours in my book and I think it actually helped me to take information in. I switched off when Mr. Malpass said he was talking about A Level stuff though. I find that's the best way to keep myself focused on the topic. Overall, my day was pretty relaxed. Maths was a complete pain in the ass though because Mrs. Grant had a complete go at everyone at the start of the lesson. In fact, pretty much all lesson. She kept going on about our maths books or something, but it's only because it's Monday. She must have to teach crappy classes that day because she takes it out on us after lunch. Nevermind. I actually learnt stuff today as well. That's always good. I didn't learn it off her though haha! I find her teaching style very difficult to be honest.

After school I didn't have a single argument with my parents. Dad didn't shout at me at all, so that was nice. Usually we argue over food and then it gets into more serious things. I also gave mum a big massive hug. She has this disgusting green jumper thing. It makes her look 90 years-old. I put her matching yellow one on and I was prancing about the house. ;) It was well sexy.

HALO! Lol. I am already sick of that song because Marta had it on so much and we were singing it. :D It started raining quite heavily when we were in the playpark, so we had to go and hide in the little red tube thing. It made me feel like a hamster. :) Her hamster is sooooooooooo sweet. I saw it sleeping. It was all tucked up in it's little bed. Haaaa I also saw a big fluffy grey cat today and it came up to me. I didn't throw potatoes at it because it was cute and I didn't have any on me lol. I also saw Adam's cat. Haaa it didn't like our screaming. Anyway, mum and dad interrogated me when I got home because I came home at like 9:10pm. I had a great time though. Oh, and NO! I don't want any crisps, or chocolate, or icecream, or water, or chewing gum, or biscuits. :L :L

I'm feeling sleepy now. I think I'm going to go to bed. I didn't get ay texts from anybody. :( *Cries*

I LOVE YOU BITCHES.
:)

I'm refusing to talk to any of my family members. I know I'm being awkward, but if they'd just leave me alone then I wouldn't have to resort to this. There are so many things I'd like to say to them, and I feel frustrated because I can't. Perhaps they'd finally leave me alone forvever if I just come straight out with it, but then there would be another family feud. I might just go out because I can't stand to be anywhere near them.

I feel like a messed up child more than ever right now. There are only a few ways I deal with things. I am surprisingly happy after I went back to my old ways. It felt good. Better than I thought it would. It was the wrong thing to do, but I did it and I liked it. I felt some sort of adrenaline rush and it made things so much better.

No one knows what I'm talking about, but it doesn't matter. I don't intend to tell anyone. There would be no point. I'll just be my usual crazy self. I'll laugh at things that aren't funny and I'll just smile because I can. It sometimes makes things better and sometimes makes it worse. At the end of the day, I'm the only person who cares.

I don't like being in Littleport. I want to go out, but I don't know where I would go. I just don't want to be here. I really dislike it.

Things at home aren't good either, hence the reason why I spend all my time out. I'm fed up of the whole situation and my dad makes my life hell.

Stephen...
Ireland's in Asia, right? ;)
LOOOOOOOOOL! J/k I'm not THAT thick. :D Okay okay okay okay okay I thought you were in a different time zone, *Hangs head in shame* but but but that's only because I'm "special". xD I swear there's a time difference of an hour! HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Anyway, I've had a good day. I went up town with Emma, Jazz and Jack for about 6 hours. Then I went to the playpark with Marta for a couple of hours when I got home. Dad was supposed to be cooking me spaghetti bolognese for when I got home at 5:30pm, but it turned out that he couldn't be bothered to cook it for me so I didn't have anything. I was rather pissed off about that so I went out again.

I had a wet wipe fight with Jack and shoved them in his mouth and made him choke BITCH! xD I threw water all over his t-shirt and it was in the shape of a penis! That takes skills! ;) I also laughed so much I just collapsed in the middle of a path and laid there. Mr. Chilton can't see faces? WTF? That made me laugh so much that I almost spat my drink out everywhere. OMG and I had a complete spaz attack in the playpark because me and Jazz were old ladies pretending to get high off of Mentos. :D We were sniffing the packet like glue and then the double glazing man (Jack) came!! MURIEL! xD

HAAAA Marta showed me how to split this leaf thing in half and make myself a Michael Jackson nose. It's soooooooooooo cool. :D We were playing in the slide and taking stupid pictures. :) Fun fun.

Looks like yet another friendship ended. It's difficult to continue normally when you know that you mean nothing to them, so perhaps I walked straight into it. Hopefully I'm wrong, but this has happened to me before and it just didn't work out. I'm not feeling very positive or very happy, but I have my reasons.

Shit happens.

Are you looking at the same moon?

"Nah, he has his own G-Spot Vibrator...
(heaven version)"

ROFLMFAO! This makes me laugh. God just got found out!! HAHAHAHAHA!

I had my biology examn today!! It was stupid. I hope I did okay, but there were a lot of questions that I didn't understand. Hopefully in the future I'll get to write something because I hate all the multiple choice questions. You could argue what the correct answers are and I don't like it. I think of citizenship when I think of this and it annoys me greatly. Nevermind.

All this talk of getting old
It's getting me down my love
Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown
This time I'm comin' down

And I hope you're thinking of me
As you lay down on your side
Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

But I know I'm on a losing streak
'Cause I passed down my old street
And if you wanna show, then just let me know
And I'll sing in your ear again

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

'Cause baby, ooh, if heaven calls, I'm coming, too
Just like you said, you leave my life, I'm better off dead

All this talk of getting old
It's getting me down my love
Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown
This time I'm comin' down

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

'Cause baby, ooh, if heaven calls, I'm coming, too
Just like you said, you leave my life, I'm better off dead

But if you wanna show, just let me know
And I'll sing in your ear again
Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

Yeah, I know I'll see your face again
Yeah, I know I'll see your face again
Yeah, I know I'll see your face again
Yeah, I know I'll see your face again

I'm never going down, I'm never coming down
No more, no more, no more, no more, no more
I'm never coming down, I'm never going down
No more, no more, no more, no more, no more

I didn't actually do anything today at school. I sat there in silence during science, refusing to talk to anyone. I didn't do anything in business. Mrs. Kay was about half an hour late to our lesson and she didn't have any work planned for us. I didn't understand maths and Mrs. Grant was being grumpy so I didn't participate. I didn't speak to anyone during geography. I didn't do the work either. Last lesson was IT and I did nothing then. I just sat there and looked at pictures of naked mole rats. That was pretty much my day.

I'm quite annoyed. I don't like being lied to. It's not a big deal. We're not always going to agree on everything, therefore it would be better for you to go and do what you want without me. I don't need to be there to hold your hand. They're not my friends, they're yours. I don't want to hang around with people like them. They show no interest in me whatsoever and I can't understand why they'd suddenly start to. Why would I want to hang around with people who think I'm a complete freak? I just don't fit in with them. I know they're not all horrible people, but I'd much prefer to stay in my comfort zone right now. I can't be dealing with any extra hassle. It wasn't you being a twat at lunch today, it was me. Why even bother to say that? If you want to go so badly then just go. I can't be here holding you back forever. I'll just sit alone or find other people to hang out with. You keep saying that it'd be good for me to make new friends, but I'm just not interested. I don't want even more people to worm their way into my life and think that they know me. I can see myself being let down again, and I really don't want that. I'd rather not bother. Sorry.

I'm really tired this morning. I don't think I'm actually awake yet. It usually takes me about an hour and a half to wake up properly. I did sleep well though. I was watching X-Files last night, but I couldn't stay up any longer so I had to go to bed half way through an episode. This was at about 10pm. I was knackered to be honest. I didn't wake up at all during the night! Not even to pee! It's like someone has performed a miracle on me so that I don't have to pee as much!

LOL your trousers fell off yesterday. Well, got tugged off by your rapist friends! 'Twas very funny, even if you don't think so. :) I'm no longer covered in polystyrene woohoo! I like playparks. I can be a child in them. I think me and my wifey should go there one day. Bring the crewage along too. ;) (That means you, Jazz. Oh, and Jack and Rissa.) I don't trust Jack in that park. It worries me because it is big and he is hyperactive. :D

Eurgh dad just said it was raining. I hope not because I have to walk to school in that. :( I don't like getting wet on the way to and from school. Hopefully it will rain at lunch so that we can't go on the field. I really don't want to stand with all those people. I'll just sit on my own or find other friends.

Eurgh (number two) my painkillers are wearing off and I have a headache again. It was pretty bad because I took painkillers, which I hate. I just can't swallow them. (No spit or swallow jokes, Emma!) They make me feel sick, but if I'm in lots of pain then I will take them. I have to have them cut in half though because I'm a baby. It's a shame they don't help mental pain. Ah well. Maybe I'm asking too much.

I'm waiting for my dad to leave the house so I can eat my chocolate Flake thing out of the fridge. He'll get pissed off if he sees me do it. FUCK OFF BITCH. Go away. At least we're not going to argue over dinner because I've already told him what I want. "Shagetti bolognese" or "Spaghetto bolognese". ;)

Be back in a minute. Going to pee! :)

Back. I don't think it's I good idea to eat chocolate now. It makes me feel sick. :S

Au revoir! Je t'aime! :D xxxxx

----------------
Now playing: Funeral For A Friend - On A Wire
via FoxyTunes

Do you know how hard it is to type and sing at the same time? I just can't do it, no matter how hard I try. I'm going to turn my music down now anyway because it's starting to make my ears hurt and the next-door-neighbours are probably getting pissed off with it. I used to have music wars with their son when he still lived there. He put his crappy music on loud, so I put mine on louder. ;) Don't you just love me? I'm so annoying.

Anyway, I haven't had a bad day. I actually decided to do some work. *Gasps* I even wrote neatly on my geography worksheets! I like learning about the hydrological cycle and stuff because it's mainly (not manly!) science and I actually get it. Mrs. Kay wasn't here either so I enjoyed that. I even did half of the work set. Then I had science and I was violating all the people in the textbook by stroking their crotches and boobs. Lol I told you I was weird. "James has autism. He does not look disabled." ROFL you should've seen the picture. FAIL! Then we had had English and I had no idea what Mrs. Lacey was on about. Nevermind. Lastly was maths. I understood every word even though Mrs. Grant was being a moody bitch. OMG ASSEMBLY WASN'T RELIGIOUS! Lol 'Jenkinson-Dix'. What a name. ;) Also, well done for peeing, Jazz! You are not an animal! You are a human being. Poor John Merrick. It's your fault I ended up with boob in my mouth. >:(

----------------
Now playing: Celine Dion - Think Twice
via FoxyTunes

Celine Dion always reminds me of Kathryn's mum. I'm not sure why, but every time I see/hear Celine Dion I think of her mum. :) ... Eurgh I don't want to stand with those fucktards at lunch, sorry. I'll probably just sit alone or find new friends. (Y)

I might get myself a Chinese for tea tonight. No one is home because mum and dad are at the hospital. I really really REALLY don't want poxy soup for dinner. I'll spend a tenner of my own money on overpriced food. :) That's if I can walk up there. I still have a spastic leg. :(

Brendan is actually awesome. Just thought I'd mention that. :)

----------------
Now playing: The Darkness - Get Your Hands Off Of My Woman
via FoxyTunes

I needed to put some music on so that I couldn't hear my dad speaking. Almost everything he says winds me up so I won't bother listening anymore. I'll just listen to Justin Hawkins screetch in my ear. "Get your hands off of my woman motherfucker!" I love The Darkness. Only their first album though. The second one was rubbish. I didn't even bother to buy it. I think I copied it from the library actually, but that was on the old computer. It blew up some time last year. I don't miss it. I only miss all the photos I had on it. All my good memories and the pictures of my two dead rabbits. Nevermind. It's still a bit creepy that I still have a bag of their fur in my rooms somewhere. I collected it when they were malting and kept it. I found it one day and it was horrible. I'm not sure why I kept it to be honest. It's weird.

It sucks that I can't walk properly.

Anyway, got to go for dinner now.

I'm sorry about all the stuff I said yesterday in case you read it. You only did it because you cared. I just overracted like I usually do. You mean everything to me and I love you.

Love Is A Feeling
Quench My Desire
Give It When I Want It
Takin' Me Higher

I'm listening to 'Give In To Me' by Michael Jackson right now. I love this song.

Fucking stupid pile of crap Netbook. All I wanted to do was go on MSN to talk to my friends so that they could cheer me up like they always do.

What happened when I signed in? I had no contacts.
What happened when I tried to add contacts? It said that they didn't have MSN.
What happened when I went on Facebook? It fucked up so that I couldn't do anything on it.

It works perfectly on this computer. Dad keeps shouting at me about it and I wish he'd just shut the hell up. There's nothing he can do to fix it. It's not my fault it's not working. He's the one that updated the fucker. There's no use blaming me for something that was no one's fault. He keeps asking me all these questions and I don't have a fucking clue what he's talking about. All I know it that it's not working on the Netbook. I don't know what he wants me to say to him. I don't know any more than he does about it. I wish he'd just leave it. Throw the fucking thing in the river for all I care. In fact, I'm not going to bother using it again. If it's going to cause so many problems then I just won't go on it. That will save me from these pathetic arguments. Why can't he just drop it? He's just making me really fucking angry and ruining my day. I already hate sundays enough. I might just go out and sit there all on my own. I can't bare to be in this house with them.

Eurgh now I feel really mean for saying all that stuff now. I also feel incredibly hyper. Damn you Lucozade. I don't need a fucking 'physical edge'! Oh shit my dad is dressed as a pimp. He has a furry brown blanket wrapped round him, a cowboy hat on and some sun glasses. This worries me greatly, but I am going to take some photos of him anyway. :) He keeps going "I am the pimp daddy!" I call him Beardy McFacefungus until he has a shave. I hate beards so much. They're EVIL! I feel like being Cecil right now. (The gay bloke who I like to act as) Toodles xxxxx

WHAT THE FUCK? Blogger, you are a complete COCK sometimes. I spent ages writing a new blog post and then you go and delete it. It must've been you because it sure as hell wasn't me. I minimized the screen for two seconds so I could check my Facebook notifications and then all my writing was gone. I think you are a FUCKTARD. Go to hell you piece of shit.

I don't see why I should waste my entire weekend doing stupid pieces of homework that probably won't even get marked. I don't care if they send one of their pathetic homework letters to my parents. I've never had one sent home before, but I'm not particularly bothered if I build up a collection of them. I don't give a damn. They can shove their poxy letters up their arses. That school is a shit hole. 70% of the teachers are complete dickheads who haven't a clue what they're talking about anyway, so it's not a big deal.

Another thing that I'm pissed off about it the fact that you told him about what happened. What gives you the right to go round and tell everyone personal things about me? Especially him. Why would he give a damn? Tell me that. He doesn't make any effort to speak to me or do anything with me. He's never been interested in me before, so I don't see why he would be now. I don't need a fucking guardian angel. Like he'd ever look after me. He only said he would because I'm your best friend and he doesn't want to ruin his new friendship with you. If I wanted to discuss matters with him then I would've done. However, I didn't. Next time keep your mouth closed.

I've actually had a really good day, but I thought I'd get all my dormant rage out before I can't help myself. I apologize now for being mean, but that's what I think. I thought I could keep it all in and just let it go as usual, but I've found out that I can't. Shout at me all you like. I don't care. I can take it. Call me a lousy friend, a backstabber, or even an attention-seeker if you want. Whatever. People generally get on my nerves. Maybe I don't need them.

On a more positive note, I bought a bag today, some more tights and a new summer top. Costing £28.50. I also went to Tesco and bought some chicken and I had a hot dog thing whilst I was in town and I had a mango passion fruit juice from Starbucks. This cost £5.45. All together today I have spent £33.95. Not bad out of £40. ;) Me and Tilly were pissing about with fake tan and transforming ourselves in black men. However, we were disappointed because our skin went ginger. :( Tilly made like £6 from busking and I had to sit there and be her pimp. It was scary how many old men were interested in giving us money. Ah well. If not for their paedophillic interests, for the pink gaykelele she was playing. :)

Woo hoo I've had my dinner! There were no arguments about it either, excluding the one I had earlier. That one didn't count because it was more like a 'heated discussion'. I said my point, parents said theirs, and so on.

Omg! Lewis just started a conversation with me. *Gasps* He must be after something because he never speaks to me usually. I don't see any reason for him to suddenly start to. I gave him enough chances and he blew them all. What I do now, I don't know. I guess it doesn't matter. He isn't replying now anyway.

I went to the American Playpark with Adam and his friends today. His sister is really cool actually. I like her. :) I hadn't been to that park for a long time. I could barely remember it. It's a nice place to go to be honest. There are hardly any chavs there.

Eurgh I have nothing to do tomorrow. :( Everyone is going out and doing things. I have loads of homework to do, but I don't plan on doing it.

----------------
Now playing: David Gilmour - Echoes
via FoxyTunes

I can't figure out what sort of mood I'm in today. I started to feel sad towards the end of geography. Nothing in particular happened, but I stopped smiling. I was meant to meet Claire outside the music block at lunch, but she never showed up. I sat with Laura instead, but I didn't really enjoy myself. I just sat there and picked at little pieces of grass until the bell went for science. I didn't really pay much attention to anything Mr. Wright said, but I still understood the work. Half way through the lesson, Wade said something so retarded that I couldn't help laughing. "Can you smell poo?" He had a deadly serious look on his face and I had such a laughing fit over it.

Another thing that I found amusing today was my French lesson.
"Do we all need another couple of minutes? Sarah, do you need another couple of minutes?"
"Umm... yeah. I have no idea what to write."
"Well, what do you want to be when you're older?"
"I have no idea so I just put butcher."
*Laughs* "Hmm. Very interesting. You could put 'I want to be a butcher because I like working with meat'."

That was probably the highlight of my day. I laughed a lot at that conversation.

I walked home with Adam today and it was so weird hearing him speak Polish to all his friends. All the words sounded the same to me. It was pretty fun making up what they were saying to each other in my head.

Wtf is FoxyTunes and why do I have it all of a sudden?

----------------
Now playing: Fountains of Wayne - Stacy's Mom
via FoxyTunes

I think someone's been playing on the computer today. *cough*DAD*cough* hahaha! Nevermind. At least it gives him something to do.

Today has been a boring day.

First up was science. Mr. Malpass keeps going on and on about how it's so important for us to revise before our exams, yet he teaches us about swine flu. The chances of that appearing in out exam next week are pretty low. Also, why does he keep going into A Level topics? As much as I find it interesting, it's not going to help me gain my science GCSE. It just throws me off track. Oh, another thing about swine flu... my cooking class thought I had it. I have not been on holiday to Mexico you fucking 'tards! All over a sneeze! They violate my hay fever so I told them I got sunburnt whilst I was there. ;) They mess with me, I mess with them. Mwahahahaa!

----------------
Now playing: Katy Perry - Hot N Cold
via FoxyTunes

I'm not listening to that. ;) Honest.

I am now listening to 'Chop Suey' by System of a Down. It's not my sort of music at all, but it'd be great at a concert. :)

I wanna stand with you on a mountain,
I wanna bathe with you in the sea,
I wanna lay like this forever,
Until the sky falls down on me.

I feel as if I like this song too much.

This will probably only make sense to the people who are meant to read it.

1) I'm so sorry about last night. I really am. I couldn't let you carry on hurting with only half the information. I had to tell you, even if it meant that you'd stop talking to me. I'm not sure whether it's a temporary thing because I only found out yesterday myself. You can never tell what's going to happen next in this world and things like this are hard to predict. You weren't stupid to think what you did. Anything could've happened. I feel bad that I even mentioned it to you, but I did. I just wanted to say that.

2) I'll try my best to talk to him tonight so I can find out where he got all the information from. Obviously if he's not online then I can't. In that case I'll try again tomorrow. I want to find out for myself as well as you because it doesn't seem to make any sense.

3) Honstly, don't worry. I know you're upset because it was him that apparently told everyone, but we don't really know anything yet. Perhaps we should wait until we know more before we start pointing fingers at people.

Pickled Onion Space Raiders! Hell yeah! Oooh 50% extra free... jealous? It annoys me that they now cost 15p and not 10p. Seriously, is there any point? I'm like their only customer, so they better watch out! WTF? This is what I just read on the back of the packet: "Caution! They came from the darkest depths of the uncharted cosmos..." LIES! I know for a fact that they came from Spar down the road. LOL! Like this is going to make us buy their product: "The only thing that can stop the Space Raiders imminent invasion of Earth is the sound of munchin' crunchin' snacks!" That has definitely got to be one of the worst failures I've ever seen. At least if they're going to tell us that, then why not make out that only thier product that will stop the alien invasion. They're telling us that if we eat any variety of crisps with our mouths open, then we will not get attacked by Space Raiders. They shouldn't encourage little kids to eat their food like a donkey chewing an apple. Also, they've chosen to use a stereotypical image of an alien, which I find rather boring. Small children might even be intimidated and frightened by it. I think that KP Snacks should clean up their act! YEAH!

Anyway, I've cheered up slightly, although me and my dad had a small argument over a tin of soup at lunch time. I'm not even going to go into the details because it's pathetic. I'm so fed up of these childish arguments over food. I can't even be bothered to retaliate anymore. I'll just stop eating. Then we're all happy, right? Excluding me of course, because I don't count. I don't have feelings in this house.

Kathryn just sent me a 12 minute long video of some boys from our school! I'm going to go and watch that now.

Toodles xx

*Sigh*

I wish I was going out today. It's so boring at home because there's nothing to do. I spent most of yesterday afternoon drawing a picture of the cathedral, watching X-Files and eating, even though I wasn't hungry. I haven't been up for very long today either, probably just under an hour. In that time I have laid in bed wishing I was still asleep and played GTA Chinatown Wars. I managed to do a couple of missions before I got fed up. Bebo is boring because only Patt is online. Not many people talk to me on it anyway. I can't see myself getting a reply, but nevermind. I did it anyway. Lewis is on MSN, but I don't want to talk to him and so is Sophie, but all she ever replies with is "LMFAOOOO!" It's a bit boring. I've only spoken to her twice anyway. I would go up town, but I have no one to go with. I want to go shopping, but I think all the shops are closed. I'd just get followed round by the people who work there like I'm some sort of shiplifter anyway. Basically I'm going to spend all of today moping about, doing nothing. Also, my dad is pissing me off. I can be almost certain that we'll argue today. Probably over dinner or something else equally as stupid. I can't be bothered to retaliate anymore. What's the point? I'll just give in and let him have his own way. Then everybody's happy, right? :'(

FUCK. guiasegtioear;oiher';oih'oihqG;P98WY4[T89HJKSNSLujshiohfro. I can't even be bothered to type this. I have nothing to say. I'm listening to My Chem for the first time in months. I hate the way they're all 'emo' and shit now, but they're music reminds me of the past. If I was a liquid then I'd be piss. Just a thought.

Last night I woke up at around 2am and I had uncontrolable cravings for Strawberry Ribena. I came downstairs and opened one of the bottles in the fridge. Tehe I'm such a naughty girl! ;) I still think they taste better out of the carton, but nevermind. I think that they're overpriced in every shop... not that many shops sell it. Usually when I go to Cambridge my dad buys me loads of them and brings them home. ^__^ I think it's better that way because he knows if I have a drink in my mouth then I'm not going to be making noise. Lol "drink". Let's leave the Ribena story alone now...

I HAD A WEIRD DREAM LAST NIGHT! I can't remember it all though. Adam told me that it's usually only the unfinished dreams you remember, which makes sense. I think it has something to do with REM sleep actually, when the brain is most active. I like learning about sleep patterns because I'm weird. Anymoo (stolen now Sir Stargazer mwahahaha!), me and Emma were in this weird games shop in Cambridge and all the shelving was yellow. Then we were looking at Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets on DS and then I was laying on the floor and couldn't walk and this woman was trying to speak to me, but I couldn't really hear her. There was something to do with my dad and gravy. After that I was in a field and there were orgasm noises. Oh, that all sounds so wrong. Ah well. I've typed it now. Anyone have a clue what that means? It's not all of it, but what I can remember.

I've finally started season 9 of X-Files! Woooooooo! The only thing that pisses me off is the lack of Agent Mulder. I can't stand agent Doggett. He's one of the most annoying characters ever. I don't like Agent Reyes either. I hate the way Mulder keeps fucking off out of the program. This really irritates me. There hasn't been any Cigarette Smoking Man for ages either. They have also changed the music slightly and the opening of the program. Well done to whoever did it because it's FUCKING TERRIBLE. Every two seconds you get a close up of an FBI card and I think it's stupid. I'm fed up of your yellow FBI cards! I'm going to stop raping X-Files because I love that program.

It's OK everybody! I've fixed my sunglasses! Found the screw in the bottom of my bag. :) LOL, not that any of you were particularly worried. Emma might've been worried because I would've stolen hers otherwise because we're meeting up today. Apparently it's Ely Eel day. FUCKING EELS! They look like some weird sex toys and I don't find them in the least bit interesting. There will probably be children walking around dressed as eels in some sort of crappy parade. If I see any then I should take some pictures! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeek can we go to the playpark today? The fit one where your grandma used to take you when you were little Emma darling. :) Honestly, everywhere I go she's there. EVERY TIME I GO UP TOWN, SHE IS THERE WITH HER TROLLEY, BLUE COAT AND BLACK HAT! xD LOL stalker! Is she the one that gives you random meat at Christmas? Hahahaha!

I'm going to see if I can get Jack to buy me something today. ^__^ Since he didn't know me long enough to get me a birthday present hahaha. :D Maybe an icecream. ;) I'll work on it.

I am not going to get sunburn. My mum's always nagging about it. I don't tan [ >:( ] and I don't burn [ :) ]!! I hate looking so pale! It honestly looks like I have some sort of horrible disease. :(

"NO. Leave my hair alone you you you... peadohair!" ROFL this is why Adam is so cool!

ADAM ADAM ADAM ADAM ADAM ADAM ADAM ADAM ADAM ADAM ADAM ADAM ADAM ADAM ADAM THIS IS JUST FOR YOU.
;)

You should let me cut your hair because you messed mine up today. I could make you look dead sexy and you know it.

"bleeding + jar in his ass!" LOL LOL LOL yes of course dear... have fun with that. :D

I don't know where the rum has gone. I'm sorry. I'm sure I can make you some 'rum' if you really want.

Anyway, Adam gets a special little blog post for being so cool and sending me crappy 80's music. :)

I'm listening to 'Propane Nightmares' by Pendulum right now. I'm feel like a good rave. I think it'd be so awesome to see them live. The crowd would go absolutely nuts! I don't know if any of you have heard the song 'Omen' by The Prodigy, but it would be freakin' AMAZING if you were on drugs. Just thought I'd mention that. I don't understand why they called their band that to be honest because they're not exactly exceptionally talented in the music industry. Sounds like a toddler playing some sort of synthesizer. Nevermind. LOL... I is gonna stop dissin' ya music now bruv!

I have a weird taste in music actually. I LOVE MICHAEL JACKSON, PINK FLOYD and KULA SHAKER! My all time favourite bands. Of course I listen to other stuff to. A lot actually, but they're not worth bothering with. If you wanna see, then go on my profile. ;)

Well, today has been a fairly good day. I sat in a sixth form English lesson with all the big kids. :D It was pretty cool. I'm considering taking English at A Level, so it was nice to see what they get up to. They were preparing for exams, but it was still interesting. The teachers are so much more laid back. I'd love school if they were like that all the time. It's a shame that they can't trust any of the flids in my year. :( Anymoo(xD), I didn't really help out in any classes today. I went and sat in the office and drank all the Ribena! Ha, take that teachers! You are now Ribena-less! Nah, they're all pretty cool. Even Mr. Lees in is own special way. ;) They got us presents today. It wasn't much, but it was really nice of them. :) Random pens with fluff on xD, some chocolate, a packet of Haribo and make-up bag thingies. OMG I was seriously considering sabotaging Mr. Lees "sticky" cake thing! I wanted to put something mingin' in it soooooo bad! LOL! Something out of their fridge. ;)

What is it with primary school teachers and forcing kids to drink milk. We don't want any of your "white stuff" thanks. I remember telling my year 2 teacher that I was allergic to it! ROFL! Mwahahahaha! Can't make me drink it now because I don't go there! >:) I love your really Mrs. Wrigley. She was actually AWESOME!

I didn't see George today. :'( Actually, I saw him at break and I wanted to go and see him, but he looked sad. I saw him on the way up the stairs through the window. So sweet. ^__^

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow. I hope it's sunny. I'll wear my dress. :) Need to fix my poxy sunglasses though because they broke. :( All I have to do is find the tiny screw in my bag and tighten it up with a mini screwdriver. In fact, I'll do that now. Wait... no I won't. Later. ;) I need to get a side bag because my backpack is so annoying. I can't find any that I like. Anywhere! :(

I HOPE MY DAD GETS A CHINESE TAKEWAY TONIGHT LIKE HE SAID THIS MORNING. THAT WOULD MAKE ME VERY PLEASED! I think I'm addicted to it. They must fill all their food with MSG or something because it just leaves me wanting more. I pick all the beansprouts out of the chicken chow mein though because I HATE them.

I can hear strange pig-like grunting, so I'll assume that my mum has fallen asleep. She must be knackered. At least she's not connected to a tube full of chemicals today. The nurses took that off on Wednesday I think. Chemotherapy isn't as horrible as I thought it would be actually. I expected her to look worse, so I'm pleased about that. That's something I guess. DSLTIOYT;OIAEHR;UO IGH;OI

I miss big George. :( I'll get to see him on Tuesday. :) I'm gonna give him a massive hug! Because I love him. xD