I'm refusing to talk to any of my family members. I know I'm being awkward, but if they'd just leave me alone then I wouldn't have to resort to this. There are so many things I'd like to say to them, and I feel frustrated because I can't. Perhaps they'd finally leave me alone forvever if I just come straight out with it, but then there would be another family feud. I might just go out because I can't stand to be anywhere near them.

I feel like a messed up child more than ever right now. There are only a few ways I deal with things. I am surprisingly happy after I went back to my old ways. It felt good. Better than I thought it would. It was the wrong thing to do, but I did it and I liked it. I felt some sort of adrenaline rush and it made things so much better.

No one knows what I'm talking about, but it doesn't matter. I don't intend to tell anyone. There would be no point. I'll just be my usual crazy self. I'll laugh at things that aren't funny and I'll just smile because I can. It sometimes makes things better and sometimes makes it worse. At the end of the day, I'm the only person who cares.

I don't like being in Littleport. I want to go out, but I don't know where I would go. I just don't want to be here. I really dislike it.

Things at home aren't good either, hence the reason why I spend all my time out. I'm fed up of the whole situation and my dad makes my life hell.