Friday, 11 September 2009

I can't tell you how angry I am about the school phoning home to see where I was today. I suspect that fucking new head twatter has been making her wonderful "improvements" to the system. For a start, It's not as if I have a bad attendance record. I can't tell you how many fucking attendence certificates I have tbh. In fact, shall I go through them? Well, you have no choice in this because I'm going to do it anyway.

"This is to certify that Sarah Ward, 7H has achieved an attendance rate of 100.0%" x 2

"This certificate is awarded to Sarah Ward for 100% attendance from September 2006-July 2007"

"This certificate is awarded to Sarh Ward for 100% attendance in the Spring Term of 2007"

I'll tell you what, they can FUCK OFF... the cunts.

Not only am I angry about this, but the school has been informed about the situation with my mum. What if she had been sleeping, then the phone rings and wakes her up? Or what if she had even fucking died in the night, huh? Is that a good enough reason to stay off school for the day? Also, some fucking secretary twat in the office phoned. Like my mum's going to tell her why I'm off. They've planned to tell the head of year on Monday about all the SHIT that's going on in my life. Someone who actually matters. Someone who doesn't sit on their arse all day doing fuck all for a job.

If I had swine flu, then I would've given it to everybody else already, so what's the fucking point in phoning? I hate the way they interfer and make things worse.

You know what? I'm off school because I woke up and felt too fucking ill to walk, okay? I've fought through 4 days of absolute shite, spending an hour yesterday just sitting in the "Medical Room" crying because I couldn't get up to English. Do they know what it's like to live life on breaking point? T0 be at the point where you doint give a fucking shit what happens anymore? When you try so hard to carry on like 'normal', but can't do it anymore because you're feeling so low? Do they know what it's like to feel so sick that you can't eat anything all day? I wonder if they know what it's like to have a family torn apart? To be ripped away from someone you love or to have to suffer every day watching them and knowing? Do they know how ill I feel every day? I spend every lesson trying to be sick or cry. I can't talk to any of my friends because I feel so bad. I can barely move. I'm trying my best. I'm only just getting by with the work and I'm really stressed about it. They don't care about me at all. The only person who has shown some form of concern has been Mrs Grant and love her for it. She might be a nagging bitch sometimes because of our class, but she's always been nice to me.

The rest of them are a load of inconsiderate cunts tbh. They can go home to their perfect families and enjoy their happy lives whilst I drown in mine. I want to hurt myself for not being stronger because I feel so angry. I'm not going to, but that is what they've drawn me to. Now I don't feel like eating any lunch and I don't even want to get out of bed. I was planning to revise today tbh, but now I'm not going to bother. What's the point? It's getting me nowhere. I might as well get back in bed and lay in my self pity, pain and sickness.

They can rot in hell. They really can. I hope such place exists so they can pay for the pain they make me feel.

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