I've just spent quite a lot of time helping Dan with his food coursework. At least I think I helped him a little. If I didn't, then nevermind. Gave me something to do for 20 minutes. It wouldn't have taken that long if my computer hadn't fucked up after I'd written it. So yeah, I had to type the whole thing out again from memory. I told him what I knew anyway. If I could log onto the school system from home, then I would tbh. I'd get little bits and bobs done when I felt like it. The problem that the remote access thing is having atm is the fact that it tells me my password is wrong. It's quite annoying really because I know my password is right. I've been using it for 3 years solid at school. I even used it last week, so I think they've got a bit of a bullshit reason not to let me sign in. Has anybody else experienced that problem before? Makes me wonder whether it's just mine that it does it with.

I woke up far too early. This means that I'm going to feel sick for the majority of the day. I've actually got tummy ache atm too. Oh, and I've developed a mouth ulcer (Y) I can't wait until the chronic back ache kicks in later. That's something for me to look forward to. Hurrah for sarcasm.

I actually have to get out of bed later (N) All the websites I've been on say that I need to try to get out to do 'normal' things. I really don't want to tbh. I choose my bed over my friends. That's how enthusiastic I am about it. How can I possibly enjoy it when I know that I'm just going to sit there and feel sick? I might be wrong, but I think that's quite unlikely, considering I've felt like it for about 2 months now. I'll come home thinking "fuck. I really am a vegetable." I really hope I'm wrong. I also hope that I cheer up by 2:30pm as well because that's when Jazz is coming to get me. I'm not gonna stay any later than 7:30 tbh because I think that 5 hours excitement is enough for me. I have trouble handling 2, so it's a bit of a challenge. I don't particularly want to be challenged, but oh well. I hope I don't get too sleepy.

My life really is shit right now. Absolutely fucking shit. I've got my appointment at the clinic on Thursday next week. They specialise in this sort of thing. If they can't make me any better, then I'm screwed tbh. I've been told that it's not instant. I know that. It's going to take a long time to make me better. I always said that I was an impatient person. I get so fucking frustrated that I'm not making any progress. If anything, I'm making backwards progress. I develop more symptoms as time goes on and the ones I've got seem to be getting worse. They should hurry the fuck up and make me better because I'm so fed up of living this life. I don't even feel better in the afternoons now. Well, not 'better', but improved. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. I certainly improve enough to be able to eat. I suppose that's a good thing.

I suppose I'll have to search around my room for some clothes to wear today. I'm not dressing up specially tbh. I'm gonna wear things that are comfortable. I really am like an old lady now. None of my clothes seem to fit anyway. They're either far to big or far to small. I don't understand why clothes fit one day, but not the next. I'm remaining a consistant weight now, so the clothes that fitted me still should fit. I give up.