I'm taking advice and I'm going to talk about things. I can't describe to you how I'm feeling right now. There is no real feeling. I'm angry, sad, distressed, annoyed, tired, bored... and lots of other emotions that I can't remember the names of. I'm not at school today because I had some bad news yesterday and I really couldn't be bothered to get up and go through the usual school routine. As I'm sure you all know, I hate Tuesdays.

Yesterday my parents got an unexpected call from the hospital. The doctors had got the results from all the tests a bit early. Basically, they can't operate on my mum. There's too much cancer. Those other 'masses' they found were cancerous, but I think we all knew that in our minds. It's just a shock to know that they can't do anything about it. Well, the only thing that can do is give her chemotherapy. This will shrink the cancers and prolong her life to maybe months, maybe years. I'm hoping years. It won't cure the cancer though. Our whole family is distressed. I don't know what I'd do if she wasn't here anymore. I don't like to imagine it, but perhaps one day in the future it will become reality.

Anyway, as I'm sure you can imagine, I am very upset at the moment. I just don't understand why out of all the people in the world, my mum had to be the one to get cancer. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but surely bad people deserve it more than she does? I know that no one deserves anything like this, but it's still irritating. At the end of the day, it's only another statistic. That's what makes me question life so much. If we mean as little as a number, then why are we all alive?

I'm not going to do any school work today. I think that even attempting to do so would be most ridiculous. I just couldn't concentrate on it, and I'm really not in the mood.