Today has been a boring day, but nevermind. I will be starting my science coursework soon, so I'm not particularly looking forward to that. I like science, but I don't really question anything. I don't see the point because I'm not a scientist. I haven't learnt what already exists yet, so I'm not going to try and be clever by finding anything new. Until I know where the universe came from and why I'm here I will not be satisfied. Perhaps if I knew that I had a purpose on this planet then I'd try harder. As far am I'm aware, there is no meaning to life. I didn't ask to be born and I had a very low chance of being me. I want to know why I am the way I am. No one can give me the answers and it's frustrating. I don't want to live a life that means absolutely fuck all. Like I said, there is no point in it.

I think that the reason I'm always so depressed is because I have to go to school. I hate it. I know I need to get good grades or else I will get a crappy job and spend the rest of my life struggling to get by. At the end of the day, what does money mean to me? All it means is that I'll be able to buy nice things, it won't necessarily make me happy. I'm going to do well at school, but only because I have to. I still don't see any real reason to.

Last night I had a really weird dream. I was sitting on a double decker train, coming back from a school trip. I was sitting next to Kathryn, and she said "look, it's Charles I!" After that she got up and moved to another carriage. I was left sitting all on my own, so I tried to get Emma to sit next to me. She said "no, I'm going to sit with Jack." We arrived at Ely station and everybody got off to walk home. It was getting dark and I thought that it was about 6pm, so I asked someone for the time. They wouldn't tell me. I asked Tilly, but she ignored me. I ran into Costa Coffee, which was a New Look, but it was really posh shop filled with gold and expensive material. I went upstairs and saw some blonde girl from school. Then Finn came in and asked for a tuxedo. The cashier charged him £70 for it. There was also some point where I spat on Louis, but I forget where in the dream it was. Jack M. and Matt where there too, but I can't remember where.

Anyway, I'd love to know what it all meant. I might try to analyse it now.