I'm listening to 'Little Bird' by Annie Lennox at the moment. I quite like her music although it's not the sort of thing that I'd usually go for. I bought 'The Annie Lennox Collection' last week. I still haven't listened to all the songs though. That's what I aim to do now whilst I'm doing this, talking on MSN and clogging up everyone's Bebo with comments.
It's quite sad that I no longer enjoy French. It's one of my stronger subjects and I dread every lesson. I know it might sound a bit pathetic, but it's ever since George got moved down. It's affected me more than it should've done. I just hate being so lonely and having no one to talk to. A lot of people have told me to ask him if I can move, but where to? I have absolutely no friends in that class and it'd be a waste of time. No one's interested in talking to me. They'd much rather talk to their existing friends. Lewis is my only friend in that class and he already sits next to someone. He wouldn't want to sit next to me anyway. Another thing that made my lesson more enjoyable was the fact that Mr. Jackson asked me if I was ill last week. I didn't know what to say to him. I just replied with a pathetic "family stuff". He gave me the most awkward looking face ever as if to say "shit, why did I just say that?" I get the feeling that he doesn't like me anyway. I have no real opinions, I sit there in silence every lesson and I don't make his job any more interesting for him. I'm another one of those kids that sit in the background. Barely noticed. It makes me feel so sad. There are nice people around me, but I don't know what to say to them. They have their own friends.
I wish I could say what I had on my mind, but I don't want my friends to read it. I don't mind people that I don't know reading it because they'll have no idea what I'm talking about. Even dropping a small clue would give the game away completely. It would be so obvious who I was talking about. Only Kathryn could read this message and perhaps figure out what the fuck I was on about. I can wish all I like, but it's not going to happen. In some ways I guess you could say it was pathetic, but more than ever it's getting to me. It's one of those things that I shoved to the back of my mind and tried to forget about, but I've never forgotten. It's been there the whole time, even if nobody noticed it. Sorry about this, but I had to write something. Even if it is incredibly annoying that you don't know what I'm on about.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Ahh,I know how you feel. So many classes are like that for me now. And about the "They have their own friends" deal, that's exactly how I feel about most of my friends. It's just hard caring about someone and knowing that they don't care at all. They don't try to talk to you, they don't try to make it seem like they care, they just live their own lives and will talk to you if you take the initiative. Everyone's so set up in their own world, I feel like there's no room for me. But I'm sorry, I shouldn't be talking about my problems in your blog. That's what my blog's for. :)
ReplyDeleteThe people that sit around me are all nice and I want to be able to talk to them. For one I don't know what to say to them and I know for a fact that they wouldn't be interested because they have their own friends to talk to instead.
ReplyDeleteNah, moan about your life as much as you like. It might do you good to get it all out of your system. I might even say something inspirational. Very unlikely, but it might happen. :)