This was yesterday:
"We've all got to stick together"

My dad is such an insensitive cunt.
I've just got up to go and eat dinner. I'm sitting in a chair, feeling uncomfortable, sick, tired and upset, I'm fighting tears, I can't breathe and my heart is beating so fast, I'm eating some crap that I don't even want and I'm trying my best to keep myself together.

Fucking arsehole. What do you mean "if you're not ill, then why have you been sitting in your room for 6 days solid?"
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME.
What the FUCK am I meant to say to a doctor when I don't know what I feel?
Just tell me how that works.
I can't handle it right now. I've been holding everything in for so long, pretending that everything is fine. It's not fine. Now I'm ill.
What if it's something serious? They'll want to give me all those fucking treatments and that will destroy me.

Why does he have to say things like "oh, why don't you leave it a bit longer like your mum did?"

I would've gone already if I wasn't fucking terrified.
Mum said she'd take me, but I know that's not going to happen because she's going to the hospital tomorrow to start her chemo again. Providing that her blood count isn't too low like it has been the last few times. Maybe if she'd STOP FUCKING SMOKING. That's it. Help yourself die a little quicker.

I'm so fed up. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm starting to give up.
I have nowhere left to go now. My life is just becoming more and more fucked up every day.
I'm starting to not want to live it.

Enjoy reading this. I certainly enjoyed sitting in tears and writing it. (Y) Perhaps I'll make it a nice pink for you to lighten the mood.