I ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD MATHS TODAY. I can work out the formulas of directly proportional values and inversely proportional values. The constant of proportionality is stupid though because it is represented with a 'k'. Perhaps that's just my teacher's way of representing it, or maybe it's the official letter. I hate the way numbers are substituted by letters because it's retarded. Why can't they use pretty little shapes or something? Letters are for writing, numbers are for calculations. You can't just put them together and expect me to understand it. Okay... so that was pretty much my maths lesson. I wish that I sat next to somebody I knew because it's so awkward to make a conversation. We literally have nothing in common, and it's just doesn't work out. Once again, another lesson where I feel lonely.

The next lesson I had was citizenship. I have some homework that was set today, but it's only to learn the definitions of these stupid words. I'm not going to do it. She's an idiot to think that I would. I didn't learn anything because I wasn't listening. Why the fuck to we need to learn about any of this shit? Peace and conflict, the environment, animal rights etc. How can you learn an opinion? It doesn't make it fact, it just makes it somebody's views on the situation. This is why I think it's a load of bullshit. No matter what you do, there will always be war. People will always be cruel to animals. People are going to ruin the environment. There will always be conflict between religions. I'm always going to be an awkward student who disagrees with everything you say. Stop trying to make me write things that I don't believe in and FUCK OFF.

Next lesson: French. Mr. Jackson wasn't there today so we had a supply teacher. She was pretty nice to us today, which makes a change. I sat there on my own and drew a picture of a bunny rabbit in the back of my blue book. He'll probably moan at me if he ever sees it, especially since it's drawn over the top of some work that I did. It was only rough work though from the beginning of the school year, so it's not as if it really matters. Once again, I didn't have anybody to talk to, although it was nice that Becky was sitting next to me today. We barely spoke, but it was nice knowing that someone was there. I had to interview everybody in the class to find out what household chores they did, and then work out some sort of percentage and draw a bar chart. I was pissed off at this because it's a French lesson, not a maths lesson. I didn't bother with the percentage, mainly because I didn't understand it.

Then I had geography. Our whole class waited outside the room for Mr. Bray to let us in, and I stood alone. There was no one there I wanted to talk to to be honest, so I didn't. There are only about five people in that class that I actually like. Anyway, we went off into the business department so that we could use the computers. I was quite happy about it because it meant I didn't have to sit all squashed up on my usual table. However, when we got there I was disappointed that we were using the SAMlearning website. I spent ages typing in all my wrong answers, and then when it came to mark it, none of my answers came up, and some of them were in the wrong boxes. This happened to a lot of other people too. I was so angry that I sent them some feedback and told them that their website it a load of shite and that I'm pissed off I've been set about 20 assignments to do on it by Mr. Malpass. I will probably get told of for my comment, but everything I said was true. I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't prepared to accept the consequences. I think that SAMlearning is FUCKING STUPID. All the writing is full of typos and I don't see why I should put up with this bullshit. How am I meant to draw on a point on a graph in a box of dotted fucking lines? It's so pointless and I hate it.

I had a crap science lesson last of all. Mr. Wright had been given a higher concentration of this chemical than he wanted, therefore all our experiments failed. Well, they reacted, just too quick for a human to time on a stopwatch. So what does he tell us to do? Repeat the experiment with a catalyst. Fucking idiot. This is going to react FASTER, making it harder of us to time it.

Dad has just come downstairs acting like a dickhead. I've already had a shitty day and there's no need for him to make it worse. I'll get changed out of my uniform when I'm ready. It's not urgent for him to wash it right NOW. He can fucking wait for it. I hate it. Every Friday when I come home he demands that I take it off immediately as soon as I walk through the door. He can't just come downstairs from his afternoon sleep and tell me what to do. If he wants it that bad then he can rip them off me. Another person who can FUCK OFF.

I don't think I even want to go out tomorrow, but I HAVE to because I have an appointment to get my hair cut. I know for a fact I'll leave disappointed because I won't have the guts to get it cut short. I'd like to dye it blonde too, but that's not going to happen. I need a change. I only want to look nice, but it seems like an impossibility. All my friends say that I do look nice, but I don't believe them because they are friends and they have to say that. That's just what they do. If I was anything special then I'd have a boyfriend. Maybe I'm fussy, or maybe I fuck things up. Maybe they find me fat and repulsive. The third option is most likely. It's so horrible to be surrounded by girls prettier and skinnier than me. In fact, better than me in every way. They have everything that I don't and I'm left with nothing that makes me an interesting person. It's so depressing and upsetting. At least I'm not throwing my dinner up though. I couldn't be dealing with that shit right now. Hint hint.

I'm going to go now because I'm in a really bad mood.